The people monitoring me in private have problems, like I'm right there and they attest I'm just another person and freak out about Late Baby Boomers.

They also seem to threaten they will ruin a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with if I say something is hurting me, like to say they need to just test her and ruin her in the process.

The people monitoring me in private are supposedly the ones making a big deal about any little inkling or a characteristic "attitude."  I think they are merely copying my parents's shortcomings, but I am fine,

So, they are monitoring me in private and being mean.

It is easier for anyone to get their thoughts out in writing or typing etc.

I don't even care if it were true, those people are *beep* to tell me the lady has a problem with me.

They don't care I hear them insulting me maybe how the page on the internet loads.  They start off when I stop paying attention and can't get it out of my head.

This seems dangerous, like the lady was ruined for me.

They sometimes ruin how I feel in physical parts etc.

Why am I wasting my time?

Why do I keep hearing them inappropriately stimulating the lady?

This shit of Cleveland is world interest. I guess it wasn't just Orlando.

I meet cool people and they won't accept I'm a good person.

I don't need the *beep* of East Cleveland pretending to have a brain and dictate my life and lie to me about the lady.

They just come here to pick at stupid things like at least they didn't kill me.

They have nothing to offer as a person, just saying I need to be monitored like something is wrong with me when I got good grades and behavior.  Really!  They think all these good things I hoped for I don't deserve.  They ruined my life.  They hate I exist.

This is going too far, I can't ever post it all, at least not all the details.

They think I did something and said they  ruined the lady, now.  People just can't stop picking at her, and it's over for me for a pathetic reason.  It's like I'm selfish, but I'm accomplished.  I'm a nice, good person.  People make up shit to ruin my day, every day..

People can't find a solution for my life, like I'm punished, when I also haven't done anything wrong.  I'm stuck in a group home without enough food or money..  I can't eat what I like.  I've been trying to go for a job, but some say to do it and some get angry and say not to, like relatives.

The people monitoring me in private don't care about the circumstance, just blame me for not always being in 1 mood.

The landlady thinks it's okay she didn't tell me someone would move in.  I'm not like forgiving and tolerating, cowering down.

People go stupid if I talk of how mean they are to me and if in any "power" make it worse.

They are inconvenient saying I'm bad and think I succumbed.

They just take what the lady does and pick at it to give her more "sex" and ruin it for me, in such a way.

It's like they turned her into a "sex" object and like she's nothing to anyone.  They are just mad they aren't still kids.

They think I should forgive them like it's my fault and they're mad I said it.  Nothing wrong with talking..

People keep acting like, "Hey, this doesn't matter. I don't get it."

So, it's like it's over for me and they are ruining it for me.

I can't do anything I want with people following me around saying the lady is over and doesn't care.  It's like one answer could be it was never for me because I was bad..

They're just sitting there like maybe it's true, and the lady says she has to "go along with the crowd."

They keep saying more mean things.

Well

People outside are acting like the lady is getting inappropriately stimulated and she's lost from me.  It's as though it's the first time and they're losing it.  They are still making fun of me like I want it.  They think that the only accomplishment is to say nothing and accept things.

...

People keep wasting my life joking, and now it could be over in many ways..

A new roommate is moving in with me, and everyone is acting like a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with did it, and I heard she really had nothing to offer yet took over my underground fame but also got all this "sex" from the world all the time.  I even caught wind of an outbreak that she doesn't care about me and the journey I was put on led to nothing but so for others but also that it's like I'm bad and didn't deserve it.  Oh, before, I though I would still have my own room, in the group home, and I didn't even want to sleep in the same bed as if I had a husband or share a room.

So, I wasn't warned of things that supposedly got in the way, with this supposed "relationship."

So, I'm fed up, I am not 100% sure of why but know there is potential, and people keep hating on me, like I don't matter.

They keep focusing on her and I suffer, like she is always about to die.

...

I'm always faced with adversity.  My dad supposedly started it.  The people monitoring me in private don't care/anymore.  They think they are owed everything, when they had ruined my life and blamed me, when clearly it was not me.

A boy in the group home acts like he's out to get me.  I live with Black people.

He just follows my every move and tries to affect me.

I'm done with group homes.  This was shit.  I won't take those boys bossing me around.

I found the people involved monitoring me in private are throwing me more problems for no reason just to make me dysfunctional and live a life in general of shit.

The people outside keep saying this lady ruined my life.  Well, they're going crazy, and they caused the problem, this is not about them.  They just want me to feel uneasy about the lady so she can torture me, more than I am.

I keep getting in trouble for posting here.

I'll really be in a situation, and people will take the time to rub it in each time as a topic in general and act like I'm shit like they're badass from the 80s and early 90s.

I know, I get caught up in details until they get mad I think of a bad word by accident.

Anyone can spout anything at me and me be affected and held accountable.

Whatever makes the people monitoring me in private uneasy turns into a war.

They want me to have inappropriate feelings with others.

They are getting personal punishing me for no reason.

Every time I hear something, the people monitoring me in private punish me.

At the time, it comes to that I "don't need it," people inflict.

I end up on the bad side for off topic reasons.

The cars outside say stuff I wouldn't know otherwise.

I am not that mad at people like that lady.

People like to act like the lady did it.  It always leads there with their jagged-y eb and flow.

People outside are freaking out like they have a problem when they cause it.

It's wrong to do this to anyone, and they seem to be goofing off bothering me while others are elevated over me by them or others.

I feel in trouble more for posting here and it seems worthless to think I can do anything.

They don't know what I should do if so upset and bothered.  My therapist said to get up and leave the room.. but they're still there, even with earplugs/earphones.

They're throwing my life away, like this is it.

They keep attacking me, and the police must know.

I mean just think they actually did it, whatever the reason.

They actually said they hurt the lady too for something they didn't like I did, that showing some physical anger when in private.

People think they will be okay if they are bad but act like I am.

They keep acting awkward about me in private.

I don't have money nor much space for a punching bag, so how can I healthily release anger physically, either in private when I'm not mad, when I'm mad in private, and what to do in public?  No one just has no.

I don't have enough money for food, so I may not get as much violin practicing done, napped today, wakes up people at night, so I'm upset.

I wonder if I need to call churches for free food, I get a list but not always there and food not so great.  I've not wanted to be out so much lately.  I may have to only walk to churches to get it, too, since bus passes are expensive and I didn't get my government money appealed for more back yet.

I figured I was naturally not feeling well for awhile, and they wanted to do it on purpose.

I can't believe no one has helped me out and my government money reduced for no reason without the appeal process first to prevent it.

"I think they're 'ghey.'"

They're being especially mean to me.

I've had some physical effect.  I don't feel much.  😔

Follow the Leader

Since they're not doing anything apparent, maybe we should sometimes just sit with this and talk how stupid it is so they can't alter our thinking in bad ways and be affected.  So far, I've been able to turn it off and ignore other people for the most part, but I'm just sitting in my room hearing what's outside, with my earphones on with classical piano music.

In bad ways that she might not like, people are just focusing on somehow ruining it for me with a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with and inappropriately and incessantly trying to get at her and inappropriately stimulate her.

I think they are hell bent to ruin my life, if I think I can ever feel okay, when I'm not upset or after.

I already know I don't want to leave my room and go downstairs and run into the boys in the group home.  The nicest one is leaving November 1st, and I wanted to, too.  I think the stress has gotten to me.  I was upset and may have skipped my morning meds.

People are being suggestive to me because I nicely used information to make a point.

The side of the maybe English-Australian lady is getting more intelligent saying if I just ignore people being mean to me she's going along with me like I'm shit..

They would be waiting for me to solve a problem when none exists, like the fear of getting upset and possibly leading to some physical reaction, however small and even if in private or because in private.

I've also strongly established that people are doing this innocently trying to get me to react physically or think of a bad word so they can punish me every day.

When I am proud I'm good with no physical anger in private, they get hysterical and obnoxious and seem "brainless" and think what shit are we here for?  Well, it might have been a valid point.

I can't stand when they give me punishment for feeling upset at what others did simply for an extended period of focus and reason.

Also, sometimes I forget it's okay when I'm listening to them and when I think for people to stop they don't.

I guess this is important, after all, though it is really bad to do to anyone.  That really gets in my way, should I report this?  It's like when I went to the mental hospital, the police already damn know and don't care.  My old violin teacher from Poland talked to friends/family on the phone, and they said it is so dangerous in the middle of German and run by Muslims that it's so dangerous the police won't come to help you.

I don't feel like doing anything.  I have to take a shower, practice, study sometime, I was napping today and wanted to go back.

Is it worth worrying over the problems they have with me?  I don't like how they say it, what to do, when they should know they are wrong.  Only me.

So, I was picked on a lot after agreeing to something mature and hard to accept.

I think it is their own ruin and lies that it's okay.

I don't know if I know of anyone who prides themselves in never having any physical reaction when mad ever.  So, what can I do?  I can't call it off and I don't really want to... you know, with people like that lady.  So, what?  Also, I don't want it to get worse for me.

They keep getting mad if I post here or not.

They just keep making fun of me.  They are being "stupid" all the time.  They are out of control.  They have no point.  They are being so "stupid."  I say something, and they crush me like they are big and "stupid."

I said it!  They just act big and "stupid" if I post my problems online and I get much more sometimes, in the end, as a trick to be on bad behavior sometimes but not all, to build suspense.

They might do something really bad because I reacted physically in private in anger.

I'm sorry, but I've been typing this shit all day and the cars outside keep having something fresh to say.  They are out of control.

They keep getting mad if I show any physical anger in private, like my aunt said, whose off.

They have it on I was upset physically a bit that it's forever shit mathematically and for the lady somehow.

So, just because I nicely said how they said she might have said/done something mean to me.

They keep making fun of me and trashing what I say.

My dad ruined my life.

The people monitoring me in private just threw out my whole life.  I feel too damaged for an afterlife.

They made it so there is no hope.

They won't stop telling me what to do or else, like I got in some agreement when I didn't.

It's over!

People are saying she is finally getting new ways of being inappropriately stimulated.

They won't stop just because I said how they said the lady hurt me and like I'm her mother when she's older.

So, just because I thought it'd be nice maybe not to say what the lady does in this people being mean to me, they made it a real rule and now this is happening.  What lies.

So, I figured I was fine with what the Late Baby Boomer European lady is doing.

However, people kept saying more things.

I was told I wasn't perfect because I included something she may have said in a point, according to others, whatever happened this one day.  So, her "relationship" with me seems to be so it partly stops or lessens and she gets inappropriately stimulated like forever.

They said someone how I don't wanna is gonna restrain me sexually on Friday/s! while she does get stimulated yet maybe inappropriately.

It's like no one else can be stimulated, and everyone is special, but look what happens to me.

Not directing this at the lady, but how stupid really and the mother in me is beat if I post an insecurity having to do with the people monitoring me in private and ruined my life?

Anyway, I just wanted to report the antics of the people monitoring me in private and noticing people going 2 ways about if it's the people monitoring me in private or in the confusing situation really from them..  It was so obnoxious and out there so much etc., the way the people monitoring me in private act, like my dad said to set a disgusting example for me as their excuse for using me to "shit" at.

So, they are just mad I said what the lady was said to probably have done, and I said it nicely.

The cars keep spouting shit for her.

I was even treated like shit to not get upset about something mean that didn't matter.

They said because of this I'm feeling upset the lady goes cross-eyed feeling good.  I thought they wanted me to stop posting about these problems now.

I heard a car say I was bad, like the lady is just mad I ended up posting this here nicely.

They won't stop, trying to get under my skin to believe something I don't want in my convictions of reality.  They will probably do other things.

They just told me I was stupid and like as usual to go fuck myself, thinking I can get away with the world reacting to what I said they did this morning when I felt fine, just to make trouble in a weird way that causes me to say something they say they don't want.

Because I lived in stupid Orlando and I had a thought, the people monitoring me in private said that means I'm guilty.  I was upset they were acting like someone had to say something and I was stupid not to believe it and it seemed like the person would just copy and say the same thing.  They acted quite obnoxious like a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with was really mean and so I posted it but maybe not, it was off the limb.  I didn't say it, but I'm saying now it looks like they needed it.

The cars said she already forgot about me and went on to someone else, like I did something.  This is very traumatic to me, to find it's true.  I think it will be denied in how things go, but it may be true.  She supposedly was set with me.  Whatever it was didn't bother me, but it was a laugh she was so promising and it was over, along with taking things socially in return for ever talking and "tempting" me.

That annoying noise in my house they may have made like maybe an English-Australian lady seem like she's saying something to me all day and for a long timespan kept saying I couldn't meet that lady, probably a message from that lady.

It seems like the lady had to do this, but I am not sure.

These people monitoring my life are really bad, too bad if you can't believe it, joking about not having the "relationship" with the Late Baby Boomer European lady now like I did something and it's "inconvenient."

It seems like they're fine now they made me mad and give me something else to worry about and when they get too old and die they actually forget about me, when their older parental generation doesn't leave them hanging and everyone venerates them and many work in private with their feelings to develop for the world, unless they're socially naked and getting "sex" but in a convenient way etc.

Well, apparently, they want to distract you from what I just said and are trying to test me to say I'm something stupid and annoying etc. like shit in a way.  That's also what the lady supposedly said after I was upset about the other older person. ..

...and that older person kinda acted out of control like she couldn't contain herself.  They're still asking me if it was really her.

They believe they are on top of this like they "know" why they say this lady has problems.  She's a good and normal person.

The people monitoring me in private said they were the hero and subdued her sexually.

They won't stop;

They acted like she meant I had a sex problem and was left hanging and really tacky and shit.

They are getting off as okay.

The people monitoring me in private are lying that it's not their fault.

It was in a traumatic way like I was so tacky, shit, and lost.  They just get worse and worse.  It's not "okay."  It was really bad.

Now, they swear and are excited that the lady just says shit to me to say I'm shit because someone else also used a term like "animal" to label her when she's a good person and I did to how someone else who knew her treated me.

They keep shocking and bugging me with the timing of how the page loads on the internet.  If I try to not think about it, they do it more.  They leave me hanging, after.  They just sit there and act "stupid" like they don't care or even know what's going on, like it's all okay.

I caught this other person in real shit, that the lady has to die.  I know she is just in it for herself, if this is true.

They keep fussing making a big deal of some things like I have to try hard to think around things for them.

Ew, it seems like I have to get someone older than the lady to have the "relationship" I'm supposed supposed to have with her, as though the lady herself has to let all out at her, so there was never really anything in it.  From what I gather from this, they would just think they're always right and I'm always wrong and therefore have to fight it.

They're acting like I'm "left to" a maybe English-Australian lady to get me to adapt to being treated by shit to be tested again, like I just did something wrong with what I posted.  I heard her acting like, "Oh, I have to do it."