Why do somehow see myself out if I did what they did to me?  I never agreed, it was not my idea, and it spun out of control.  They/People just sat there when I inquired if they believed that this was needed to feel something.

It seems my life is always ruined, no matter what.

They are still "just sitting there" not telling me if these noises are just messages and don't care if I feel hurt like something is often bad or not good happening to a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

So, I had an idea, but I know it isn't true probably.  I remember maybe they made these things seem so anyway.