I don't really matter, according to what they do.  They aren't fixing it, neither, probably making it worse and disturbing me, "for now."

The people monitoring me in private keep acting like I did something wrong and like I'm close to them etc.

They think we're close and I'm shit as a person, but normal people don't think that of me.  They hurt me for my private thoughts.  They might do something stupid like hurt the lady for it now "because I said this."  Some people don't know where they aren't wanted.

The people monitoring me in private are a problem as people.  I can't think what I want.  They say they are a fat Italian.  They want to think simply and hurt me.  I'll find I am more retarded.

Sometimes, the people monitoring me in private have something going because they said I suggested it and then just keep doing it.

It wasn't even a big deal in that way.

I'm being hurt for it, too, and damaged.

I think they're upset for no reason in a way that's obvious, and I don't know who made it this way and maybe they don't, neither.

I didn't do anything wrong, and the whole world is selfishly fresh with me, except for "the upper echelon."

Are my present problems all the antics and "stubbornness" of the guise of the people monitoring me in private?