They get upset if I talk to other people I like a lot like I'm gonna get to talk to a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with and therefore shouldn't. It's just a calendar of her getting inappropriately stimulated with major checkpoints. I notice I still talk to other people.. It's like it's thought of as a good idea, without a sensible explanation. They even reserve people who talk to them but are not me.. Actually, I usually feel pretty alone, abandoned.
It's funny like I'm supposed to ignore stuff and everyone else gets in some hype but sometimes supposedly catastrophically.
I keep waking up to people panicking, sometimes, that a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with has a problem and like it's collectively my fault and will affect my happiness, like, all the time. They're looking for excitement. They think this is necessary, in fact, but in this case seem rather pathetic. Older people seem able to function despite all odds, while younger people struggle, today. So, I'm wondering "what all the fuss is about." Supposedly, people ganged up on her and inappropriately stimulated her, because her situation she got underground famous over me and they think someone else will do it worse if they don't, but that's just who they are and everyone keeps doing things like this. They are blaming me for my thoughts.
For some reason, I feel the people monitoring me in private are hovering over me like I "just realized something." Something's been bothering me for 8 months, around when my dad died, something I did when I felt bad, nothing really illegal. These people won't leave me alone it feels, like they want to over-effect me, like when the fire detector felt like it was talking at least like every 20 seconds for a few months and that it was a maybe English-Australian lady, trying to displace and take over a "relationship" I was supposedly supposed to have with an Late Baby Boomer European lady. It seems like "no one gives a fuck" about what they do to me because they have the people monitoring me in private to punish me for even accidentally thinking of a curse word because people in school etc. used to a lot. It feels they may ruin me, and my hatred is boiling. I might almost make it, and something they say might set off my day. I have to realize who's really bad and who's really more innocent, so I'm not in the wrong "frame of mind."