See, now people ruined it for me.  I thought I just faintly caught that a Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with had to forget about me, that she's just "gonna die" and gave our "relationship" for her away to someone else, instead.

Those people knew how delicate these situations are and made it hard for me!  No one gives a fuck!

Wait, I heard more.  I keep hearing bad news from the cars outside.  I feel a picture was painted of me that's clearly mostly fantasized that I am the bad guy.  What do I do now?  This is no. joke to me.  I don't joke about the truth, in ways, because it's wrong.

I'm gonna go eat.  I got some more sleep and got tired.  I didn't even get to take a shower etc.

I don't know why it's so weird that it's so easy to point fingers at me in Ohio.  I know the people monitoring me in private just "drop it like it's hot."  They just use my uncertainties to turn them into insecurities.

Everyone around me is such shit.  What am I dealing with their sin for?